I’m noticing a disturbing trend: Mean Girls. They have escaped from that *ahem* classic Lindsay Lohan movie and are starting to show up in our universities. I have noticed—rather consistently—that young women in universities can be just plain bitchy to each other. For some reason, it has become unfathomable for people to be kind, supportive, polite and understanding. Instead, mean girls are trying to make others feel like crap. Consistently. And I just don’t get it. Don’t get me wrong. I have worked with some fantastic young women. Some of the students I work with honestly awe me with their kindness, respect for others, work ethic and generosity. However, there are WAY too many people who are starting to act like mean girls. Maybe they are just REALLY passive aggressive. Maybe it’s the fact that we’re in a social society, and for some reason we feel the need to put everything we think online. (Yes, I notice the irony in that statement.) Maybe I’m just now noticing it and it’s been happening for years. Maybe it’s just the industry I’m training these young women to be in. After all, we see cut throat PR pros on TV and the movies all the time and those portrayals could skew the perception as to how our industry behaves. (FYI – In the real world PR is about RELATIONSHIPS, not being the biggest bitch.) Maybe that’s not it at all. But it makes me wonder: Have we trained people to become mean girls or are we merely allowing it to be acceptable? I understand that our society raises people to be the best; that there is undo pressure to always have an “A”; but somewhere along the way, treating others with respect was forgotten. Maybe I should blame helicopter moms. I’ve seen my fair share of them, and trust me, they need to chillax. By constantly pressuring kids to win, they don’t get the important lesson of learning how to lose, and how to treat others (and yourself) with respect. After years of that kind of pressure, I can understand how a person could be trained to act without regard to others. I understand that college is a competitive place, but we’re not talking men on the gridiron here. We’re talking about young women being mean for no reason. And it isn’t just each other, it’s to female faculty & staff as well. I keep seeing young women questioning the authority of female professors and administrators, just because they can. It’s like their attitude is: “You’re a woman/ young/ blonde /a different culture/ homosexual/ fill-in-the-blank, what do you know?” They don’t care about professional experience or degrees; they just see the other women as competition. Don’t we get enough of that in our society as it is? Women and under-represented groups have been fighting for equality for years. And the sad truth is that we may never get it… because we refuse to treat each other as equals and with respect. The sad fact is that the denigration of women is prevalent in society: the “C” word is used with startling regularity; women are called ‘bitch’ and ‘ho’ without a thought; and in some circles of society, our value is merely our beauty and sexuality. If young women continue to act like mean girls, it is just perpetuating the problem. But, it doesn’t have to be that way. WE can change it. By making simple decisions to treat others with respect, we’re fighting the good fight. By choosing our words carefully, we prevent misinterpretation and hurt feelings. We need to uplift each other, not tear each other down. Listen, I get that your parents think you hung the moon. But guess what, you aren’t the best or the brightest. Because no matter how hard you try, there is ALWAYS going to be someone smarter and more talented than you. Harsh? Maybe. Blunt? Probably. But it’s the truth. How you deal with that truth defines who you are. Are you going to be threatened by it and put up a mean girl wall? Or, are you going to embrace people for their differences, talents and intelligence and grow some in the process? Here’s another truth for you: Being a mean girl is the same thing as being a bully. I don’t know how or why mean girls think their behavior is acceptable. Maybe because they’ve always gotten away with it. Maybe because they think that’s how the world works. Maybe they’re spoiled rotten. Maybe they just need to grow up. As a woman and a professor, I’m just plain disappointed. I can’t seem to understand the passive-aggressive pettiness I’m seeing and have been seeing (and experiencing) for YEARS. I usually ignore it, but recently, the straw done broke this camel’s back, and it’s time to take a stand. I’m not going to put up with it anymore, and when I see it, I’ll call people out on it. Don't bring it into my classroom, don't bring it into my school. There is absolutely no reason to not be nice to other people. You aren’t helping yourselves, and one day you are going to have a very rude awakening. Listen, being a bitch may be easy, but it doesn’t pay off. Just think about it.
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As you may or may not know, my alma mater, my home and my friends in Tuscaloosa were hit by a massive tornado. I have friends that lost everything, but have their lives. As my friend, Alexa (whose house was pummeled by the tornado), says "If it doesn't bleed it doesn't matter." The people of Tuscaloosa have been so resilient during this tragedy, and need help recovering. My students at Oklahoma State saw the impact of this tornado. Many of them remember the May 3rd tornado in Oklahoma City and wanted to help. So, they started a donations drive at OSU. This alone humbled me. Then, to top it off, I've had students volunteer to drive down with me to work in Ttown for a week. Which just floored me. Have I mentioned that my students are awesome? Because, yeah, they totally are. In the past week, we've had so many blessings heaped on this trip. God is truly amazing. However, all the costs are currently coming out of my pocket, and I need some help. Even with the donations that we've received, I'm estimating that this week-long trip will cost roughly $1200. Although I am more than happy to foot whatever bills are needed to help my friends out, I can't do it alone. If you are willing to donate to help us get there, I would really appreciate it. If you have 5 cents, $5 dollars or $500, we'll take it. Any and all money that received from this will only be used to foot the bill of this trip. If there is any money left over, it will be given to the Salvation Army of Tuscaloosa, whose building was destroyed in the tornado. (You can see the PSA that my friend MK did for the Salvation Army below.) I know money is tight for everyone, but anything would be appreciated. This isn't about me. This is about getting six very eager college students to Tuscaloosa so they can help make a difference to people in need. Thank you.Roll Tide & Go Pokes! Seeing as I'm from the South, I have grown up with a variety of truths and convictions. There's nothing better than chicken n' dumplings, Alabama will always have the best football team in the nation, and anyone with enough conviction and courage can change the world. Happy Birthday, Dr. King. Your dreams have made so many others possible.
I saw these in an email and fell in love. Hilarious.
Football is here! It is that time of year that I love best: Football season. It is a time of the year when the weather cools down, dreams are alive, campuses are buzzing, and we can gather together to cheer or jeer the boys of fall. I love it. Honestly, if you try to put the TV on something OTHER than football, I might throw something at you. Football season makes me so happy, that I woke up this morning singing... literally. For me, it really is the most wonderful time of the year. It's 97 first-team All-Americans. It's a college football record, 57 bowl appearances. It's 32 bowl victories. It's 22 Southeastern Conference championships. It's 13 National Championships. At some places, they play football. At Alabama, we live it. So here is the song* that has been rolling through my head all day. It's the most wonderful time of the year With the kids throwing footballs And everyone telling you "Be of good cheer" It's the most wonderful time of the year It's the hap-happiest season of all With those Roll Tide greetings and tailgate meetings When friends come to call It's the hap- happiest season of all There'll be parties for hosting Wieners for toasting And experts all in the know There'll be great football stories And tales of the glories of Seasons long, long ago It's the most wonderful time of the year There'll be much tailgating And hearts will be glowing When the boys of fall are near It's the most wonderful time of the year There'll be parties for hosting Wieners for toasting And experts all in the know There'll be great football stories And tales of the glories of Seasons long, long ago It's the most wonderful time of the year There'll be much celebrating And fans will be cheering When our teams win the game of the year It's the most wonderful time It's the most wonderful time It's the most wonderful time of the year... For college football is finally here! Roll Tide! (*The original song was from an Auburn Sports Blog: Track Em Tigers. I merely changed the Auburn nonsense to more appropriate & universal lyrics.)
You know the moment when you realize that you're getting exactly what you want? Or the moment when all your hard work pays off? Or the moment when you are so excited that you do a happy dance in your office... and the hallway... and the secretary's office. Yeah, I totally had that the other day, and it felt great! For the past three years, I've been working my tail off trying to get my PhD. Last year wasn't so great (getting struck by lightning, having a stalker, getting eaten alive by fire ants, and all SORTS of other issues), but I really think 2010 is going to be a great year. Anyways, back to the point of this post.. the happy dance. Last week was a great week. First, I passed my proposal defense and got my IRB material in by the February deadline. Then, I had a surprise Valentine's Day visit from my ex-boyfriend*. Then, I got offered my dream job. It was such a fantastic week, that by the point I got the offer, I couldn't hold in my excitement anymore. The happy dance came out and small children cried. Granted, it is a little scary to see me acting so spastic, and the happy dance may be a mix between the Macarena, the tootsie roll, and Elaine from Seinfeld, and I may look like an idiot doing it… but I don’t care. I’m psyched! The reason is (and I am EXTREMELY happy to announce this) that I am the newest Assistant Professor in Strategic Communication at Oklahoma State. This is a great fit for me, and I couldn’t be happier. I still have to finish the big D, but I should be coming back in the next 6 months. So, watch out, y’all. This sassy southern girl is about to come home, and I may be wearing a lot of orange. So, out of respect to my two favorite schools, I must say: ROLL TIDE!!! and GO POKES! *In the space of a week, he decided he didn’t have “feelings” for me, and dumped me. Um…. Okaaaaay.
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About the AuthorI'm a Ph.D. in Mass Communication, PR Consultant, SM junkie, fashionista, Space Nerd, Food Lover, Bama Fan and friend. Roll Tide! Archives
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